BREAKING: ZED NOW THE ALPHABET’S SECOND LETTER
The fantasy world shakes off yet another weird week as a bottle of water takes a podium spot… kinda out of nowhere?
As always, I’m your beat down, coming to terms with being in the toilet bowl, completely neutral statman Nicholas Hamilton. Let’s wrap up Week 11 of Waxball 2025.
EVIANDON TOP
After spending eight consecutive weeks in the middle of the pack, Milo (EvianDon; 129.42pts) broke out of 5th-8th place to claim a podium spot for the first time since Week 2. It comes after Milo put up the third-highest score of the week, his third consecutive week in the top three scores, to confidently beat Miles (Daddy Campbell; 79.34pts) who was unable to follow up last week’s win with a score in the top half of Week 11.
Milo’s third win in a row puts him firmly in 2nd, the only manager on 7-4 behind first place Paul (helloimpaul) on 9-2.
In Week 12, Milo will face 5th-place Mosko (fantasyboy12345; 6-5). Milo’s average score of 117.68pts/week sits just above Mosko’s 117.63pts/week. When they first played in Week 1, Milo came out on top 118.48-91.12.
WITCH BURNED
If anyone was to end the two-name-mom spell it was always going to be Paul (helloimpaul; 122.22pts) as Erik (Marie Legallet; 88.2pts) was taken down for the first time since Week 5.
In the battle of the then-top-2, Paul went into MNF needing 19.7pts. George Pickens and Dak Prescott ended up combining for 53.72pts on the night to help him to his third consecutive win. Paul’s score of 122.22pts was only the 6th-best on the week, making this the fourth time in five weeks that his score hasn’t broken the top-3 of the week, although he still maintains the best PF by almost 100pts.
Erik falls to 3rd as he prepares to get revenge against Christian (Steeler Virginity; 4-7) who trounced him in Week 1. Christian, coming off the highest score of Week 11 by a mile, will look to continue to march up the table and clamber out of a toilet bowl spot for the first time since Week 1.
Paul will look to repeat his battering of Trav (yumyucker; 4-7) in Week 1 and maintain the gap between him and the rest of the pack to ensure a first-week-playoff-bye. Trav suffered his second loss on the trot in Week 11 and threatens to fall back to 12th with a loss this week.
MOSK-LOW
After starting the season 6-2, Mosko (fantasyboy12345; 61.14pts) put up the lowest score of the entire Waxball season this week to fall to a high-scoring Blue (blueballs; 138.5pts) and extend his losing streak to 3L. Mosko drops down to 5th as a result, making it his first week out of the top-3 since Week 5.
It was a weird week for Waxball, as the prior season’s lowest score of 70.3pts was broken twice just this week, as Will (Leaping Jesters; 63.72pts) tried to beat his own Week 6 record. This allowed Havi (PapiCoop; 78.5pts) to somehow pull out the win against the Jesters, despite scoring the lowest winning score of the season. A manager has won despite scoring less than 100pts only three other times this season, and all three of those scores were in the 90s.
Only six managers scored over 104pts this week, reminiscent of Week 6 in which only three managers scored over 120pts.
Will and Mosko, who both held a podium spot as recent as Week 8, now cling onto the bottom rungs of the playoffs and risk falling into the toilet bowl with tricky matchups in Week 12. Will faces fellow 6-5 manager Sam (mistahbigdick; 7th) and Mosko will match up against newly crowned 2nd-place Milo (EvianDon; 7-4).
WE MEET AGAIN
Week 12 will see a repeat of the Week 1 matchups, so let’s look back at what was happening all those months ago.
NIC v HAVI
THEN:
Nic 107.42 (6th) def. Havi 81.92 (12th)
NOW:
Nic 5-6 (8th ⬇️2) - Havi 4-7 (10th ⬆️2)
BLUE v MILES E.
THEN:
Blue 127.68 (3rd) def. Miles E. 95.72 (8th)
NOW:
Blue 6-5 (4th ⬇️1) - Miles E. 3-8 (12th ⬇️4)
MILO v MOSKO
THEN:
Milo 118.48 (5th) def. Mosko 91.12 (10th)
NOW:
Milo 7-4 (2nd ⬆️3) - Mosko 6-5 (5th ⬆️5)
CHRISTIAN v ERIK
THEN:
Christian 136.92 (2nd) def. Erik 83.94 (11th)
NOW:
Christian 4-7 (9th ⬇️7) - Erik 6-5 (3rd ⬆️8)
PAUL v TRAV
THEN:
Paul 118.72 (4th) def. Trav 94.8 (9th)
NOW:
Paul 9-2 (1st ⬆️3) - Trav 4-7 (11th ⬇️2)
SAM v WILL
THEN:
Sam 142.76 (1st) def. Will 112.56 (7th)
NOW:
Sam 6-5 (7th ⬇️6) - Will 6-5 (6th ⬆️1)
We’ll revisit these matchups and compare them to Week 12’s scores this time next week :)
PAIN.
I don’t wanna talk about it.