KING LEGALLET AND THE QUEEN MOTHER GO TO WAR
The playoff picture shifts entirely as a new hottie enters the villa… and it’s your mom??
As always, I’m your good-while-it-lasted, back-down-where-he-came-from, completely neutral statman Nicholas Hamilton. Let’s wrap up Week 10 of Waxball 2025.
BURN THE WITCH
It’s easy for a certain someone’s dominance to be the only headline every week. But we all know Paul (helloimpaul; 8-2) is in a league of his own — he’s in 1st-place for the fifth week running and sitting two games clear of the rest of the pack… let’s talk about Susan.
Erik (Susan Rogers; 174.28pts) put up the highest score of the week to extend his win streak to 5W, the longest of anyone this season. Erik was 11th in Week 5, 10th in Week 6 — his ascent being aided by having the top score of the week in 3 of the last 4 matchups. A slate of late injuries to his squad this week may hamper his future, but as it stands he is a strong contender for a hefty playoff push.
The two-name-mom phenomenon continued as Trav (yumyucker; 89.1pts) was trounced by Susan Rogers in Trav’s first loss in four weeks. With Ceedee Lamb and Rashee Rice both on bye this past week, Trav is yet to win a matchup this season where neither player was active. He’ll look to bounce back with them both against 10th-place Christian (Steeler Virginity; 3-7) in Week 11.
Erik and his battered and bruised starting lineup face a tough yet entertaining test this week, as they face 1st-place Paul in a podium-battle for the ages.
MILES W-IOT
For the first time since Week 6, our lowly commissioner Miles (Daddy Campbell; 117.5pts) finally tasted victory again — and over a strong opponent in Mosko (fantasyboy12345; 109.3pts). It’s Miles’ third time this season scoring 117pts, but only his first win while doing so. It’s also his first time scoring in the top five scores of the week. Despite all this, he maintains 12th-place, yet tied on record with Christian (Steeler Virginity) and Havi (PapiCoop).
Mosko suffered his second loss on the trot, scoring less than 110pts in both instances, though his season average sits at 123.28pts. A bounceback will be testy, as he faces Blue (blueballs; 5-5), also on a 2L streak. Both Blue and Mosko were on the podium as recently as Week 6, but whoever loses this matchup may find themselves in some mathematical hot water.
TIGHT TOPS
At the end of Week 10, all but one of our top-7 found themselves in a different position to last week.
After Will fell to a season-low 6th in Week 9, Jonathan Taylor put up the highest PPR score all season (49.6pts) to help the Leaping Jesters “rake (Nic) over the coals” and jump back up to 4th, tied on record with 2nd-place.
Milo (EvianDon) has put together a nice win streak to push up to 5th, the highest he’s been since Week 2. With the lowest PF in the top-7, he’ll need to put up points in these last few weeks to avoid falling out of the playoff picture due to the tiebreaker rules.
After sitting in 1st-place as recently as Week 5, Blue (blueballs) fell to Milo in Week 10 and finds himself in a season-low 6th.
The major fall from grace for myself (Dickless Cameltoe) after a strong Week 9 that resulted in a season-high 3rd-place knocks me out of the playoff picture entirely, demonstrating just how tight the situation at the top is.
One win separates a first-week-playoff-bye from competing to avoid the calendar.
STAGNANT BOTTOMS
Speaking of competing for the calendar, our bottom-5 stayed where they were this week, despite both Sam (mistahbigdick; 5-5) and Miles (Daddy Campbell; 3-7) pulling out a tight win.
Tying for the longest losing-streak this season, Havi (PapiCoop; 87.64pts) went up against the third-lowest scorer of the week in Sam (mistahbigdick; 91.94pts) and lost. He sits only 49.32 PF ahead of last-place Miles.
Christian (Steeler Virginity; 112.2pts) fell at the last minute to league leader Paul (helloimpaul; 117.12pts), as Josh Jacobs crashed into the endzone in the 4th quarter of MNF for the Packers’ only TD of the night.
COMPARISONS
As we approach the final four weeks of the regular season, we look back on last year’s standings and do some comparing.
Two managers have already outdone last year’s regular season form:
- Mosko sits pretty in 3rd-place with 6 wins, eclipsing last year’s 5 total.
- Will has (obviously) majorly improved with 6 wins compared to his lone victory in 2024.
Conversely, four managers have already performed under the standard they set last year:
- Sam finished 2024 at 10-4 — he’s lost 5 so far this year.
- Trav took 5 losses last year and already sits at 4-6 this season.
- Miles E. finished 2024 with 6 losses and has already tallied 7 so far this season.
- In the biggest surprise, last year’s Waxball winner in Christian has also lost 7 times already this year, compared to his 8-6 record in 2024.
All of this is to demonstrate how little regular season-form matters. After a 1-13 season, Will was able to pull out a first-week playoff win and spare his pubics. Sam was top of the table in Week 14, but failed to win the first playoff match and ended the season outside of the top 3.
Don’t hold your breath. Keep your lineups healthy. Anything could happen.